Story Hour

It started with the parades and the marching bands before becoming a familiar and popular TV show. One that generated millions of viewers and followers. It was one that people watched during dinner; they streamed it at work, and spoke about it online.

It was as real as reality could be.

So why, then, was Gerry unhappy?

He was the number one celebrity in a celebrity driven society. He was ubiquitous, like air, and felt like he could float like lithium on water. Or more accurately, he felt that he could jump into a pool of water and explode on contact like caesium, that every thing he did had an oversized reaction by his fans.

 He had everything, and everybody, watching his every move, mimicking every tic and mannerism, they even recited his catch phrase "Domo Sorry-Gato" at every chance in solidarity to his inane characterisms.

So why, then, was Gerry so unhappy?

There were whole cottage industries dedicated to his celebrity. TMZ followed him around like mosquitos in Florida and even Facebook streamed his every public act for everyone to see.

He had all the money he could ever need; in fact, he had more money than anyone in history would ever need. He bought cars, planes, islands. With his wealth he "diversified" into other investments in his portfolio, being an angel investor in tech to investing heavily in startups specializing in advanced tech. He even bought, through legal and paralegal means his own countries. He didn't buy countries outright, he just spent enough money on elections that he was able to influence the outcomes to meet his particular tastes and desires.

To wit, Gerry, born Gerald P Wolt had everything, was everything. But he was unhappy.

At 5 years old Gerry began performing for friends and family, dancing The Charleston, quickly followed by a quick tip of the hat, and wiggle of an imaginary cigar. Quickly he learned that he could make those people around him happy, but more importantly, he learned that his dancing would get him anything he wanted. It was a quick lesson and one he understood even at such a young age.

As he got older, Gerry realized that if he smiled a certain way, he'd get the obvious cheers and accolades, but if he tweaked that smile just ever-so-slightly, he could elicit a kind of euphoria from his fans. It was as if the parts of their brain that held individuality, conscious thought, reason, and rationale all got lobotomized and all that was left was the limbic lobe, the part of the brain that controlled happiness. In other words, Gerry learned at a very delicate age that by making others laugh, he could control them. Like the fungi Ophiocordyceps that controls the carcass of the invaded ant, Gerry could invade his audience through his performance and make them servile to his wants and whims.

So why, then, was Gerry so unhappy?